When slamming a glass of Chardonnay is not an option

Michelle Nicole Martin

Leadership & Performance Coach for Small Business Owners

Like all business owners, we build a business around our craft, our unique talent, and the things that we love and can do in our sleep.

That's exactly what I built my business on.

I have spent years as a business leader, improving profits, rallying my team around a common goal, and lowering costs.

You name it, I've done it! So naturally, the thought of owning my own business really appealed to me.

But in all my overconfidence and excitement, I was missing a critical piece of the puzzle that would stop me dead in my tracks.

In all my business experience, there is one thing I never did. I have never built a business from Zero Clients as an Unknown Person.

I have only ever rebuilt a business unit, optimized, and changed, but all those things are still built from something.

But I have always had my reputation as a wingman, which makes it easy to be resourceful when people like you, respect you and want to help you.

Now, as a small business owner, I was so confident in my craft that I missed something hiding in my blind spot.

It was my resistance to acknowledging that I was a beginner who had no idea how to build a business, how long it takes, or what successful actions looked like in the beginning.

When I first started my entrepreneurial journey, I never once acted like a beginner. Why? Because I didn't believe I was one!

When I realized it, I compared my efforts to my results and looked at my business trajectory; I felt defeated.

I could feel that emotionally fueled, frustrated lump build in my throat, and I knew the tears weren't far behind.

My only good options were to either

  • A) slam a glass of chardonnay down or
  • B) go for a run.

Yeah, who am I kidding? I'm an ex-triathlete turned couch potato, so I chose the former!

As a coach who loves mindset and emotional work, I know that "what we resist persists."

So, whatever challenge you are facing, you need to process it and transcend through it.

And that's exactly what I did in my own situation. I tend to always be my own first client!

Processing is a "simple" Four-step process

  • Awareness
  • Acceptance
  • Admit it out loud. It's not enough to think the thought... you have to throw up to grow up!
  • Advance forward with a revised plan

Why it works

  1. Awareness - Becoming aware allows you to explore what is going on further and is ultimately the first step in creating change.
  2. Acceptance - When you accept the current reality, you open yourself up to finding solutions and moving forward.
  3. Admit It - When you admit it out loud, you take back the power you gave to the thing you resisted. By naming it, you take ownership of the situation and have empowered yourself to change it.
  4. We start to prove to ourselves that what we were doing is NOT who we are. We are capable of change and success.

My work with business owners includes self-concept and mindset work.

It's not normally what my clients come to me for or what they think they need, but then, in the pursuit of achieving goals and making changes, things bubble up.

All the doubts, fears and most importantly, the things they have been ignoring.

That is just the human experience; it's hard to know the unhelpful things you hold onto until you are tested.

So, if you want to avoid the dramatic kitchen meltdown followed by chardonnay therapy, I will say this: look at what you are avoiding.

The work is always in the thing we are overcompensating for and downright ignoring because we've "got it covered".

Covered is right.

What niggle has crossed your mind that you have dismissed, again and again... that sinking feeling that you keep minimizing.

Send me a reply; tell me, what are you resisting?

You will be surprised that even typing it out will give you a sense of relief.


Book a free consultation call.

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